She entered my life during a time when I felt both powerful and vulnerable (all the time). I was a bundle full of contradictions back then (something I still am). My heart was relieved because I had finally spoken out, but my mind kept scaring me about the harm that could be caused to me. That is when she brought stability into my life and said that I did the same for her. She told me that my messages (of love) made her feel at peace (the way she felt whenever she saw a flower). Suddenly, I had someone in my life who balanced out all my negative traits. She was someone who liked math (I hated it), who understood Philosophy (unlike me), who was a fast (I took a week to read The Book Thief), and who, despite being a student of Economics, spoke more in Literature classes than me. Sometimes, I felt intimidated by the way she spoke (she could put all ‘debater boys’ to shame). In those intimidating moments, I told her that she’d make a great leader (to which she always said that she wasn’t willing to lead). For her, I was willing to write more than I usually would (I felt the need to match her energy levels). Today, I wonder if I’ll ever be able to read what I wrote to her (and what all she wrote to me) without tearing up. Something I do know is that nothing in me has really changed. I know that I will fall in love again (with someone who is either too ‘cultured’ or unapologetically ‘uncultured’) Perhaps, the cycle of me feeling every extreme human emotion for (or because of) my significant other won’t really end.

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